Death and Coffee
By Barbara Bush, R.N.
Emergency, Trauma, Hospice
Behind the mask of Life is Death! Death is an upcoming event in all of our lives that we hesitate to talk about, but why?
It is an episode of life that seems to bring trepidation, discomfort, and fear.
But, I think we should be talking about death like we do about a milestone birthday or an anticipated holiday.
We have seen sudden death, we have been close to final events ourselves (isn’t that what our 20s were about!), and now we choose not to talk about death as if discussing it will bring it sooner than we hope.
It is hard to imagine a world without those we love.
It is hard to imagine a world without us in it.
Is it loss: loss of control, loss of touch, or loss of our own essence?
Is it fear of the unknown, fear of what awaits us after we die?
We need to talk about death over coffee, over dinners, and in our daily lives.
It is the people I have worked with over the years in ERs, in the back of ambulances, and in their homes that had faced the inevitable fact of their death that were the most peaceful, the most composed, and the most calm.
What if we were to view death as a celebration of a life well lived!
Celebrating the friends that we hold dear, the family members that are the closest to us, and our communities that have held us in their arms and given meaning to our life.
I say we challenge ourselves — and those who love us — to surround us with memories and with stories of a life well lived!
Bring on all those tales of crazy antics, those moments that almost got away, the silliest things we ever did, and the epic events that defined this well-lived life.
And please know that as we love you, as we have seen behind your secret mask, there will always be that one story, special to the two of us, that whomever lives longest will remember (yet never tell anyone), and will hold closely like a smoldering ember to light candles to keep you shining brightly and forever.
Because no one is ever really dead until they are completely forgotten.
Barbara Bush … once upon a time there was a fairy princess who was adopted by a wonderful town in Colorado.